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March 9, 2014

Today we celebrate:

National Panic Day – Today is a day to be afraid. Let all your fears loose and indulge in a little panic party. Come on, 'fess up, there has to be something you are afraid of.

National Crab Meat Day – This is a day to indulge in some crab meat. If you can't stand the thought of eating crab, try the imitation crab meat. I'm not a fan of crab at all myself, but I'm told it's difficult to tell the difference. If you're like me, try mixing it in with something else, or stuff something with a crab meat mixture. That would probably be quite tasty.

Get Over It Day – I don't know what it is you have a problem with, but today you need to just get over it! Don't be nursing any grudges because of something someone did to you and don't be wallowing in guilt because of something you did to yourself or someone else. Just get over it already.

Joe Franklin Day – Born on this day in 1929, Joe Franklin started in radio when he was 17 years old. In 1950, he switched over to television and basically invented the talk show. The Joe Franklin Show was the longest running talk show when it ended in 1990, although that is no longer the case. Would anyone like to guess the name of the talk show that has run for longer than 40 years? Take a guess before you check your answer at this site:

Barbie Day – On this day in 1959, the first Barbie Doll went on display at the American Toy Fair in NYC. She doesn't look too bad for 55 years old. She is still ridiculously proportioned, but that's a whole other issue that we don't need to get into right now. She was created because of an idea that Ruth Handler, wife of one of the founders of Mattel, came up with while watching her daughter Barbara play with her dolls.

False Teeth Day – On this day in 1822, Charles Graham received a patent for false teeth. False teeth had been used for hundreds of years before then, but these were much better than the primitive methods used previously. These new ones were made out of porcelain which were found to be much more durable than ones made from ivory or gold or human teeth. I've even seen reference to false teeth made out of lead, but I'm not sure that is accurate.

Check Your Batteries Day – This coincides with Daylight Savings Time and is a time to change the batteries in your smoke detectors. It's important to make sure your smoke detectors work properly so that they can save your life if you try to sleep through a fire. Trust me, you don't want to do that. But even more annoying than sleeping through a fire is waiting until the batteries start to go in your smoke detectors and they start that high pitched chirping sound. Because, let me tell you, if you have as many smoke detectors as I do, it is very time consuming standing underneath each one for an hour while you wait for it to chirp. Especially since the one that is chirping is never the one you are standing under.  And then, you might have the situation that I had a few months ago when not one but two of my smoke detectors started chirping, but they couldn’t do it at the same time.  No.  I stood under every single smoke detector in my house and not a single one chirped while I was under it.  The sound was always coming from a different room.  It took me about six hours to figure that one out.  Save yourself and change all of the batteries today.

The Start of Daylight Savings Time – It's that time of year again when we mess up our internal clocks and our children's sleep schedule by changing the time by an hour. Even worse, it's the spring so we leap forward and lose an hour of sleep. Better get to bed early to make up for it.

To celebrate today, watch an old episode of The Joe Franklin Show, if you can find one on the internet somewhere, while you make something with crab meat for lunch. Then, change the batteries in your smoke detectors and clean your false teeth.  Next, get out your old Barbies, and use them to play act an event involving whatever you are most afraid of, then get over it and don't forget to set your clocks an hour ahead before you go to bed.

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